The institution of marriage is where the war for a successful, victorious marriage is most hot.
It is like being at the fore-front of a battle, with the enemy being the devil and the flesh.
The marriage that wins such a battle is for the people who have a good foundation; those who dig deep and have laid their foundation on the Rock of Ages, Jesus Christ.
I have seen many ignorant lustful young couples going before the altar to be slaughtered on the altar of ignorance, because they do not have any clue about what they are getting into. They believe they love each other and therefore, whatever is lacking in each other will be amended as soon as they start living as husband and wife. How much else can one be ignorant than this? One of them thinks I have found the right person. But he or she is unaware of the fact that marriage is not about finding the right person, but being the right person.
During the Wedding Solemnisation, the Minister opens with a ‘charge’ stated as follows: – “Marriage is a sign of unity and loyalty which all should uphold and honour. Therefore, it is not a thing to be rushed into or undertaken lightly to satisfy our carnal lusts and appetites but reverently and responsibly in the sight of the Almighty God. The world has the idea that marriage is simply a legal contract (It is a legal contract we don’t make light of that), but at the same time, it is a spiritual contract”.
I sincerely believe that two people heading for marriage should have been tutored very well on this matter long before wedding. And, the charge should be included as part of the counselling lessons they will receive before the wedding day. The war of survival in marriage is a war you can win by obeying the laid down rules.
Marriage is an issue that is very utmost in the heart of the Father of all creation. He created man to enjoy fellowship with Him and with one another. He created marriage for a deeper and higher dimension of fellowship with one another and to raise family.
Genesis 1:28 says – “Be faithful and multiply. Fill the earth and subdue it.” Instead husband and wife try to subdue each other.
God’s will for His children in marriage, is to enjoy Harmony, Peace, Joy and Love and that they are to be the Light and Salt to the unbelievers’ marriages. But unfortunately, this fact is to the contrary. Instead, we are encountering an alarming rate of divorce and separation. There are dysfunctional families, abusive relationships, broken marriages, broken homes, and broken hearts, and an alarming increase in single-parenthood aside from widows and widowers.
Though the devil is at work to undermine God’s institution on marriage, we have the Word of God which show us how to live happily and victoriously in marriage.
Many marriages fail and died from the time of courtship as every red light warning signs are broken. They are like a car that flew over the embankment and fell in the river because it had no brakes.
A marriage that will be victorious, successful and enjoy harmony, peace and love is where when the two – man and woman who are in courtship are aware of certain traits in each other that could be of concern and they both discussed it for the purpose of change.
Examples of Traits to watch out for:
- Impatience
- Lack of Trust
- Lack of Understanding
- Lack of Respect
- One who is a perfectionist
- Insensitivity
- Pride
- Boasting
- Anger
The list could be very long.
This is why rushing into marriage without checking that these things are discussed and resolved is like heading straight for a heart-broken, tear-drained life in marriage.
The best way to be sure you are making the right decision is to look for values and character traits that may be of concern to you and discuss such.
There is nothing like maybe he or she will change in marriage. In almost 100% of the cases, it gets worse in marriage if it is not dealt with.
If the man or woman does not respect, trust, understand the other, he or she is not in Love. But he or she can be in ‘Lust’.
Lust is a temporary fire that burns in one or both parties that eventually dies. Some of such fire dies out in marriage.
POSSESIVENESS
Possessiveness is a subtle character trait you want to run away from. It can be found in the man or the woman. But most couples heading for marriage never consider or look out for this trait.
Possessiveness is the total control of one partner and putting a clamp so that the other partner is trapped and stifled.
It is a prison that is created not only by men but by women also. Many men are controlled by the demands of their girlfriends and this goes on into their marriage.
- There are many other issues that are the root of conflicts and dysfunctional marriages, that when dealt with, will result in the kind of marriage and home that gives glory to God.
TO BE CONTINUED!!!
